See What You Want

You will see what you look for.

Unhappy in your job? Look for things to like in it.
Irritated with your spouse? Watch for the qualities you love about them.
Annoyed with your children? Notice their good points.

Relax

Learn to ask yourself a few questions.

Is this really as important as I'm treating it?
Do I have the power to solve this? Is it my place to solve it?
What's the worst that can happen?

Quality vs. Quantity

Focus on quality.

Instead of eating an entire candy bar, have one piece of really good chocolate.
Choose fewer pieces of high-quality, beautiful, classic styles instead of blowing your entire wardrobe budget on the latest trend.
Instead of trying to visit every landmark when you're on vacation, choose a few and spend some real time there.

This is important for relationships, too. My Sweet Hubs and I have learned that we do better if we work separately during the day to get our respective chores done without interruption, and focus on each other in the evening. As much as love him, I really just don't get as much done when he's in the room. It's much better to get the work done and be able to focus completely on each other later.

Pursue

We Americans are guaranteed the right to pursue happiness. So pursue it! Build it, nurture it and grow it.

You may have noticed that we are NOT guaranteed the right to have happiness bestowed upon us.

Objectivity

One important key to consistent happiness is learning to look at situations objectively.

When someone says something that seems insulting or mean or petty, step back and think for a moment. Is that what they were really saying? If someone is staring at you in the mall, is it because you have a toilet paper tail or spinach in your teeth? Maybe it's because you're looking damn fine.

Take the time to give other possibilities a thought, before you react by being hurt, offended, nervous or embarrassed.

Nonsense, Sense and Embracing the Mystery

If you're expecting everything in this world to make sense, you're moving backwards, sister.

Learn to accept that not everything makes sense. Life isn't always fair, justice isn't always done and people are never going to behave the way you want them to. When you accept those simple truths, life gets easier.

Meander

Instead of always taking the shortest, most direct route,
take the time to meander. To go the long way, or the scenic route.

Even if all you're doing is wandering around your own house, slow down, take note and be present in the moment.

Listen

Listen more than you speak.
Listen to your heart.
Listen to the hidden meaning to the things people say.
Listen to the silence, and listen to the songbirds.

Listen.

Karma

I'm going to reverse the old saying for you:

Sow what you wish to reap.

Jump

Run, jump and play.
Jog, walk and dance.

Whatever you do, keep moving. Being sedentary leads to stagnation.

Insist

Insist on happiness.

You do that by quashing the impulse to whine, and by making a conscious effort to focus on the good. When the people around you are behaving like a bunch of negative Nellies, turn the conversation to good things and repeat as necessary.

Insist on a positive tone and it will eventually be your default state.

Haven

Choose your haven and notice it when you land there.

If your home is your happy place, don't rush in and start right away on your myriad of chores. Take a moment to relish having made it home.

Maybe your office is the place where you feel successful and valued. Look around when you get to work in the morning and appreciate what your employment means to you.

Glance Back, Gaze Forward

Spend more time looking forward than thinking about the past.
Imagine the future you want and take steps toward building that for yourself.

Freshen

Change something around to freshen your life.

Rearrange the living room furniture.
Reorganize your closet.
Change the pictures in your office.
Wear something different than you usually would.
Try a new recipe.

Familiarity can breed boredom, so change it up!

Evaluate

Is what you're doing working for you?
If not, try something different.

Maybe you can't change the thing that bothers you, but you can change the way you think about it.

Deny

Deny yourself the privilege of complaining, even to yourself.

Try it for one whole day. Try it for the first hour of every day. Just try it. You might be surprised.

Cherish

Cherish the moments.

Stop what you're doing for a moment, pause the frantic to-do list that's playing in your mind, and look around you. Notice the simple, trusting love in the your child's face. Notice the hopeful look the dog is giving your while you eat your sandwich. Notice the crystal blue of the sky or the perfect, fat snowflake floating earthward.

There is always something to cherish, if you look.

Bend

One easy key to living happier every day: bend.
Do you ALWAYS have to be right?

Accept

Accept that you are not in control of everything.
Accept that you are responsible for yourself and your actions.

ZIP

(I apologize for the tardiness of this post...I forgot to schedule it, so I missed a day!)

Zip it!

I think we tend to bitch about things without thinking about WHAT we are complaining about. Let me tell you a little story to illustrate my point.

My husband is a whistler. He whistles when he's happy, he whistles when he's working, he whistles when he's in the shower and he whistles when he's .... well, breathing. Twenty-seven years ago, his whistling was getting on my nerves. He would whistle when I was on the phone or trying to listen to something else, and it was starting to annoy me.

And then one day I read a letter to Dear Abby while I was eating my lunch. A lady wrote in to comment on a previous letter-writer who had complained to Abby about her husband's constant humming. The lady wrote to say that her late husband had been a hummer, too, and now that he was gone, she would give anything to hear his absentminded humming.

That was the day the whistling stopped bothering me.

Yell

(another of my personal faves) 

Yell. Cuss. I call it "Toxin Release". 

When things go wrong enough to really tick you off, practice Toxin Release. Think of a good, vile, effective profane word. Start at your toes and let the profanity rise from your toes, up through your body, picking up all the frustration, anger and misery on its way, and let it out with a strong, heartfelt CUSS WORD!!! 

You pick the word. I don't care which one you use, or what language. Let the word encapsulate all the nasty ugly and spit it out vehemently. 

And then be done with it. You just got rid of all that yucky stuff. Be glad it's gone and go on.

eXamine

(OK, I admit the title is a stretch in my alphabetic theme.) Take the time to think about what you are doing and saying. Does it make you feel good? Does it bring you closer to your goal? Is it WORKING? If what you're doing and saying isn't working, stop doing it. Replace ineffectual thinking with an interior pep talk. Exchange paper shuffling with action, click out of the game you were playing and get back to writing your masterpiece. Examine your actions and examine your thoughts. If they aren't contributing to a happy, successful and contented you, pitch them.

Wish Not

Quit wishing! I wish this would happen and wish that would not... It doesn't work. What's the saying? Wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which one fills up first? Yeah. That's about the size of it. Instead of wishing for what isn't, notice what IS. And when there is something that can be more than just a wish, create it. Go out and get it. Make it happen. Wishing is a crutch. Throw it away, Tiny Tim.

Victim vs. Victor

Whatever has gone wrong in your life, think of yourself as the victor over your challenges, rather than the victim of someone else or the situation. If you survived a terrible illness, an abusive childhood or a rotten marriage, you SURVIVED it. That makes you the victor.

Underwear

No, I'm not kidding!

Ditch the granny panties! Get you some hot, sexy boyshort panties in a fun colors and lovely laces. Choose bikinis or thongs or tangas, but never never grannies!

I don't care if no one but you ever sees them. Life is too short to wear ugly panties.